CHAPTER 63
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
*******************************
Chapter 63 ~ Finding Out the Truth of the Matter
Hermione picked out several possible flats and spent the day checking them out, accompanied by a scowling Severus.
The first flat they visited was a two-bedroom with a kitchen, living room and bathroom in the hallway. Severus snorted.
“Too inconvenient. If I have to piss in the middle of the night, I will have to stumble out of the bedroom and up the hall,” he complained. You need a flat with a bathroom in the master bedroom. Besides, the rooms are too small. Where will you set up a lab?”
Hermione tried several more flats, all of which Severus had complaints about. Finally they came to the last flat on her list. This flat was part of a large number of flats. As they waited for the landlady to let them in, Severus noticed a handsome young wizard exit the flat next door and looked at them with interest before checking the post. The Potions Master then looked up and down the street and noticed there were quite a few young wizards gadding about.
“Are there nothing but young wizards here?” he asked the landlady as she let them in.
The rotund blue-haired woman looked up at the wizard. She recognized both Hermione and Severus from the Daily Prophet, but was a shrewd enough woman not to let on. She might lose the rental. The young witch had informed her she would be living here alone and the landlady wanted Hermione to feel she could live here without being harassed. It was clear that the pale, tall wizard was more than a friend to the witch and didn’t like the neighborhood. Well, that was just too bad. He seemed too old for Hermione anyway. She needed to be around wizards her own age.
“Well, yes. Most of my tenants are young and single. They like to live in groups, you know. A nice sober bunch really. All hard-working. Usually they move on when they marry,” she replied.
Severus scowled at this. This was definitely not the kind of neighborhood he wanted Hermione in. The flat was much like the others they visited, but the rooms were larger and the master bedroom had its own bathroom.
Hermione walked from room to room.
“Now this is nice,” she said to Severus.
“I don’t like the neighborhood,” the wizard growled, his black eyes shifting about the flat trying to find something wrong with it.
“And it’s still much too small,” he griped.
“It’s large enough for me, Severus, and the price is right. It’s not too far from the Ministry either. I’ll have a short commute if I take this,” Hermione said, looking around and smiling. Severus’ scowl grew blacker as Hermione and the landlady, Agatha Peabody discussed the rental fee.
“Hermione, you don’t have to work,” Severus said, “You are bringing in enough residuals to do your own research now. Hell, I’ll rent you my house. The labs are already set up for your work and I live at Hogwarts for the most part.”
“No, Severus,” Hermione said as she paid the landlady a month’s security and the first month’s rent. “I need someplace of my own. And I want to get some experience working for the Ministry. It will be interesting.”
Hermione signed a month to month lease and told Agatha she would be moving in during the week. Severus let out a growl of exasperation. As they left the flat, the handsome young wizard was again outside, sweeping off his walkway. He waved at Hermione, who smiled and waved back.
Severus scowled darkly. No. No. She couldn’t stay in this neighborhood. That wizard next door…more than likely he’d bring her some kind of flat-warming present, stay to chat a bit, then start dropping by for coffee. Then, he’d start telling Hermione he wanted to find a nice witch and settle down…and next thing…she’d be breaking it off with him and telling him she’s found someone whose dragons are all in a row…
“Severus, are you all right?” Hermione asked him as they walked up the street. His face was contorted and his eyes distant.
The wizard started.
“I’m fine,” he snapped, “Are you ready to return home?”
“No. I want to go to Hogsmeade and pick out some furniture for my flat,” she responded, “But if you’re tired, you can go on ahead. I’ll be along later.”
Severus said he was tired and disapparated home, leaving Hermione to her “shopping.” But the wizard wasn’t tired. He was highly disturbed and upset. Hermione had chosen a flat surrounded by eligible young bachelors. When they realized a young, single witch lived in their neighborhood…no doubt they would start zeroing in, even if she were involved with someone. They’d move in under the guise of “friendly neighbors.”
“I’m not the marrying type,” the wizard said haltingly.
Then he thought what his life would be like without Hermione. He would return to Hogwarts, completely alone again with nothing to look forward to except loneliness. The witch’s absence would be a great hole in his life now. He was used to her. She was good to him and for him. She was the first witch to occupy his bed untouched, and he found when he woke up beside her, he felt as satisfied as if they had spent the night fucking. It was pleasant waking up beside her, something he could imagine doing day after day…
Severus paused.
“Do I love the witch? I don’t know what love is,” he thought, “I want her for my own. I don’t want her to leave or to be with any other wizard. I enjoy being with her sexually and non-sexually. Is this love? And if it is love, is it the kind of love that will last a lifetime? Or is it a love that will fade over time?”
The wizard sat down in the armchair and pondered his situation. Hermione had said she would continue with him, but she wanted more. That would always be in the back of his mind now.
“I want you to love me back, Severus Snape.”
Hermione’s words echoed in his head, the wizard blinking quickly. That was the crux of the matter…the witch wanted his love. He didn’t know if he loved her. Severus Snape was the kind of wizard that liked to know what a situation was for certain. But love for a woman was something beyond his experience, something he wasn’t familiar with. The only woman he had ever loved was his mother.
The wizard sighed. He needed help…he needed to know if he and Hermione were meant to be together. If they were…then he would marry her if she would accept him. He would care for her and father her children. He would be a better husband than his father was. But first, he had to know for certain. There was one way to do that…but it could be costly. But losing Hermione would be costly too. It was worth the risk.
The wizard stood up and headed out the back door, across the yard and to the invisible door that led to his dark library.
He pulled it open and disappeared.
**************************************
When Hermione returned, she found Severus seated in front of the fireplace staring into the flames. She walked over to him.
“Did you take a nap?” she asked the wizard.
Severus looked up at the witch. His dark eyes washed over her.
“No, I didn’t. Something else occupied my time. Sit down, Hermione,” he said, gesturing toward the seat next to him.
Hermione sat down and Severus leaned forward in the chair, turning towards her.
“I know what you want, Hermione…but I don’t know that I can give it to you,” he said quietly, his eyes intense, “But inversely, I don’t know if I can’t give it to you either. Since you’ve come into my life, witch…there has been a vast improvement. I prefer not to lose you. I am willing to become part of your dreams.”
Hermione looked at him, her heart swelling then sinking.
“Severus…I don’t want…” she began, but the wizard held up his hand.
“You don’t want to marry a man who doesn’t love you or can’t admit he loves you. I know that. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you what I don’t know for certain, witch. If I said I loved you at this moment, it could be a lie, something said to keep you with me. I feel certain things toward you, protective, possessive, but also kindly. I would not hurt you for anything in this world and would give you anything you asked of me freely. I don’t know if that amounts to love…”
Hermione stared at him, her eyes glistening as he continued.
“I need you to come with me…to the library. I need to find out if this is love, Hermione. If it is, then we will move forward together…if you want me, but if it isn’t…I will have to let you go. I refuse to keep you from your dreams of happiness and fulfillment. I am a selfish man, Hermione…in my heart I would keep you close to me forever even if I didn’t love you. But my conscience has sharpened and I find I cannot do that. You deserve a happy life. So I need to know the truth about us. Will you come?”
”To the library?” Hermione asked, lacewing flies beginning to swirl in her stomach. If they were going to the library, more than likely that meant Severus was going to use Dark Magic to find out if he loved her.
“Yes,” he said softly, “to the library.”
“You’re going to use Dark Magic, Severus. There is a price when you use Dark Magic,” the witch said.
“You will be in no danger, Hermione. I promise you,” the wizard said, taking her hand.
“But what about you, Severus? Will you be in danger?” the witch asked.
Severus didn’t answer. Hermione pulled her hand out of his.
“No. No. I won’t do it,” Hermione declared, “I won’t have you risking your soul for me.”
“I need to know this, Hermione. I’ve taken risks before. If all goes well, I will be in no danger. Our offering will be accepted and there will be no other requirements for the use of this magic,” he replied.
“Offering? What kind of offering?” Hermione asked him.
”Blood. And passion,” the wizard replied, “A very small amount of blood from each of us…mingled.”
“And the passion?” Hermione asked him.
Severus’ dark eyes went hot, and Hermione immediately knew this Dark Magic required sex to be invoked.
“Sex? In the library?” she asked, her voice low now. Despite her worry, the witch found herself growing quite aroused.
Severus nodded.
“Please, Hermione. Help me. Help me to find out what I feel…to find out if you are my destiny,” the wizard said to her, lifting her hand and bringing it to his lips. “Help me to find out if you are my deliverer, my savior, the one who will bring me up out of the darkness that is my world into the light. Hermione, I need to know,” he said sincerely, his eyes glistening. “I need to know if you are the woman I was meant to love.”
Hermione looked at Severus, his plea touching her heart. She was afraid for him, but knew he wanted to take the risk…he wanted to know for certain if he loved her. To the witch, just his willingness to imperil his soul was proof enough he did. But she also knew Severus wouldn’t accept that.
“All right, Severus. I will go with you to the library,” she said softly.
Severus leaned in and kissed her softly.
“Thank you,” he said rising and helping Hermione to her feet. “The library has already been prepared. Let us go.”
Severus tucked Hermione’s arm in his and led her out of the house, across the yard and to the invisible door. The sun was setting. The wizard pulled open the door and Hermione saw all the torches leading down the stairs were already lit as if expecting them. She entered, followed by the Potions Master.
Silently they walked down the stairs, the only sound the spluttering of the torches. They reached the final landing and Severus opened the door to the library and let Hermione through, following her closely.
The library was dark, but the large protective circle was encircled by red candles. In the middle of the floor the desk had been replaced by a huge four-poster bed, covered in red silk sheets. Next to the bed was a small table, also draped in red fabric. An unlit red candle, a large open book, a knife and a pewter bowl rested on it. Hermione felt magic wash over her as she entered the library. It must be the protection.
The witch stopped and stared at the candles and the bed, then turned toward Severus.
“Red?” she asked.
The wizard nodded.
“Apparently the powers of darkness prefer red and black. Black for darkness…red for blood. Understandable really,” he said, placing his hand on Hermione’s back and guiding her forward toward the table. He showed her the book.
“This is what I must say before our blood is mingled in the pewter bowl,” he said, drawing one long pale finger under some text. “And this is what I must say before I take you. When we have finished, then the truth will be revealed. Do you have any questions?”
Hermione looked up at Severus.
“What will happen to you if our offering isn’t accepted,” Hermione asked him.
“Nothing that would matter, Hermione. If our offering is not accepted…it will mean I am going to lose you. That is the most painful punishment I can imagine,” he said softly, “Nothing will be worse than losing you.”
“You won’t lose me, Severus. I believe you love me, or you wouldn’t be willing to go through all this to prove it,” the witch replied softly.
“I wish I could ‘believe’ as you do, witch. But I need concrete proof,” he said drawing his wand. He pointed it at Hermione.
“Divesto,” he breathed, leaving the witch nude in the candlelight, shadows flickering over her body, which was bathed in reddish light. Sounds came from all the books. Hermione felt the urge to cover herself from the tomes for a moment.
Severus then pointed the wand at himself, removing his own clothing. Both sets of clothes appeared outside the circle, neatly folded. Severus tossed his wand toward them. It landed neatly on top of his robes. He turned to Hermione and picked up the knife.
He held out his hand, looking into her eyes. Hermione slowly took it, and Severus stretched out her arm over the bowl.
“With Love comes Pain, with Pain Opened Eyes. We give Blood for Love and Pain,” the wizard intoned, slicing a small gash in Hermione’s arm, letting the rich red blood drain into the bowl. The witch gasped from the pain, her eyes watering as her blood flowed freely.
Suddenly, the gash healed and the pain was gone.
She looked up at Severus, amazed.
The wizard held his own arm over the bowl, repeating the invocation and slicing his arm, letting his blood fill it until his own gash healed. He turned to Hermione.
“It has begun,” he said softly, drawing the witch close and kissing her tenderly before lifting her and carrying her towards the bed. “I need you to feel me, Hermione. All that I am when I take you.”
Hermione looked up at the pale wizard and caressed his cheek.
“I always feel you, Severus,” she replied as he gently laid her on the bed’s red silk sheets.
*******************************************
A/N: Ooh. A ritual that requires sex to be completed. Yum. I agree with Hermione that by being so willing to go through this to prove he loves her actually does prove he loves her. Too bad Severus needs more to be sure. But then again, he doesn’t know what love is…so yes, it makes sense he would want proof of it. But what a way to get proof. Yeesh. (Also a good way to sneak in some lemons, lol) Please review.