CHAPTER 8
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 8 ~ The Tests and a Bit Extra
Hermione went right to work on creating a spell that would assist the Potions Master in his brewing. She immediately divined it would have to be a multitasking spell, one that worked in increments according to the directives given. In other words, the spell would have to work based on instructions given. Actually, it was quite simple, but truly brilliant, with the caster describing type of ingredient, its location, preparation, intervals of times etc. It was simple but involved as well, each and every step would have to be described, separated by a swish and flick of the wand as a separator. Specifics were necessary. The spell needed to know whether an ingredient was added whole, chopped, diced, powdered or pulverized. Was the cauldron to be covered or uncovered and how long? What type of utensils were to be utilized for the preparation of ingredients? Cutting board or bowl? How many stirrings were necessary and in what direction? Even the scourgifying of utensils between ingredients had to be directed. In fact, the best way to utilize the spell would be to write down every aspect of the brewing process first, then read it off as a list, separating the instructions with wand motion. Nothing could be overlooked. If done properly, all the Potions Master would have to do was bottle the results. He could work on countless brews at the same time. This would be a great boon to him and all other Potions Masters.
It took three weeks for Hermione to get the spell down pat. She applied her signature to the spell to keep it hers…then added a special invocation developed specifically for the Potions Master to be able to utilize the spell his first time out. The witch wore quite a wicked little grin when she added the release word.
To invoke the spell, the caster simply had to do the proper wand motions, invoking it by saying the word “Sequentius,” and finished with “Fin.” It wasn’t proper Latin, but it was the intent and not the word itself that activated the spell after all. After its initial use, Hermione had no doubt the Professor would find the spell immensely useful, and that after it was patented, it would bring in a fortune’s worth of residuals over time.
Although she finished the spell a week early, Hermione didn’t bring it to the Potions Master. Let him think it had taken her the full amount of time to complete. If he knew how fast she was, then he would expect faster results. The witch wanted to give herself as much breathing time as possible.
One thing Hermione Granger was sure of however, was that Severus Snape would never forget the first time he used the “Sequentius” spell.
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On the designated day, Hermione returned to Hogwarts and together with Severus entered his potions lab and explained the spell to the wizard. She presented him with a parchment that gave the invocation, necessary wand movements and detailed instructions on how to sequentially list all facets of the brewing process, then put the spell in action.
Severus listened carefully. So she created a spell that sequentially and magically performed all the steps in brewing a potion according to proper instructions. Simple, but brilliant. Possibly some brewing techniques could be ‘saved’ and reused without the necessity of describing each step more than one time.
“But you must be sure to include each and every procedure you would do, and have your ingredients available to be accessed. If they are locked in a cabinet, then the spell will cease to function and the brew will be ruined,” she said to the wizard who nodded.
For the test, Severus had Hermione use the “Sequentius” spell to brew a potion that had over one hundred and sixty-five steps, but was completed in precisely eight hours time. It was quite a labor intensive process that required close observation, timed additions of ingredients, carefully calculated temperature changes, and stirrings.
The potion itself was a simple plant elixir utilized by Madame Sprout to strengthen weak plants. It could bring the most damaged plant back to health. But it was also a brew that required constant attention from start to finish. When Severus worked on it, he was trapped in his lab the entire day. An awful amount of time for a plant elixir.
Hermione had the Professor put all the ingredients in easily accessible positions. The spell could later be adapted to actually be able to retrieve ingredients from their locations, but for now this was fine.
The wizard watched as Hermione wrote down the entire brewing process from beginning to end, then invoked the spell and proceeded to read off each step, separating them with a swish and flick, then pronounced “Fin”
Severus watched as bowls, pestles, ingredients, knives, cutting boards, cauldrons and liquids went to work, the entire process seeming as if an invisible Potions Master was hard at work chopping ingredients, adding bases, turning up flames and timing the process. Both he and Hermione watched the entire eight hours until the potion was finally completed and the cauldron shut off and items were scourgified and put away.
Severus carefully spooned out a bit of potion and poured it into the pot of a very withered Snapdragon. The plant immediately turned a vibrant green, the red petals snapping at the wizard with gusto. Severus stared at the plant, then turned to Hermione.
“The spell works. Do you accept my patronage?” he asked her immediately.
“Yes,” Hermione replied.
Immediately magic swirled around them in a manner similar to taking a wizarding oath.
“Now I am bound to watch over you until such time as you no longer need my support. We will both be made aware when this happens by magical means,” the wizard said. “Our agreement cannot be dissolved until your tenure is completed.”
“What? There’s no way out of it?” Hermione asked, her eyes wide with horror. She was under the impression either of them could back out of the agreement. She never imagined she would be magically bound to the snarky wizard. Oh good gods.
“Yes. The way out is to do what you are required to do,” Severus said with a smirk. “Then you and I will both be released from our ‘partnership,’” he purred.
“You knew this would happen!” Hermione said, furious.
“I would think you’d be happy. Your access to my library is secured,” he replied, looking at the parchment again. “Now, is this spell ready to be used by another?”
Hermione looked at him with a scowl.
“It has my signature on it. What you have to do is invoke the spell, give your instructions and say the word “Fabio” to remove my signature. Then say “Fin” and it will work.”
The Potions Master arched an eyebrow.
“Fabio?” he asked her.
“Yes. It’s the name of a muggle model. I figured it was rare enough to avoid accidental invocation,” she replied evenly. “Now it’s late and I have to go. I will put in my two-week notice at work and be ready to move into your home after I leave.”
“Very well,” Severus said absently as he studied the parchment. “You may go.”
Hermione scowled at the wizard. It was after four in the morning. He could at least walk her across the grounds to the gate. But Severus Snape didn’t do such things. Hermione gathered her robes around her and exited his lab, walking through his office and down the dungeon corridor.
The witch glowered as she exited the castle, wand drawn as she walked across the landscape. A half-moon lent some glow.
Well, fuck him then, the mannerless bastard.
And just wait until he invoked that spell.
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The next day seemed to drag on for the Potions Master, who was anxious to use the new spell to brew some simple healing potions for Poppy. He didn’t tell Hermione this, but the new spell was fantastic. He had no doubt they would make tons of galleons from its patent.
Finally, classes were out, and he rushed the students from his class and headed directly for his lab. He took out all the necessary ingredients, wrote down the brewing process step by step, applying the necessary separating flicks, then said the word to remove Hermione’s signature.
Suddenly he felt strange sensations all over his head. They weren’t painful but he brought his hands up to his face. To the wizard’s horror, his face was pulsating, changing. He could feel his nose straightening and facial structure becoming broader, his chin stronger. There was a bristling sound and his scalp felt funny and his hair heavier. Finally the sensations stopped and he could feel his features had changed. He rushed to a drawer, opened it, pulled out a small mirror, stared into it then bellowed in rage.
“I am going to KILL that damned witch!” he snarled as he looked at the reflection in the mirror.
The Professor was handsome…no gorgeous, with chiseled masculine features, a noble chin and a long mane of rich blonde hair that flowed over his shoulders and down his back. He looked like the long-haired hero found on the cover of cheesy romance novels. The wizard didn’t know it, but he was the splitting image of the model Fabio…at least from the neck up. His tanned face was a startling contrast to his pale throat. Apparently the spell only worked on his head.
Hissing in anger, Severus tossed his hair and pulled out his wand in a vain attempt to change his features back, but to no avail. Damn it. He had an after supper staff meeting to boot. He couldn’t miss it. It was required by Albus that all staff attended.
Hermione Granger had a very nasty streak.
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Albus wondered why Severus didn’t show up to supper that evening. He always ate in the Great Hall when there was to be a staff meeting, because the staff room was only a few doors down.
Strange.
After supper, all the staff gathered in the staff room, taking their seats and looking up at Albus expectantly. The Headmaster had these meetings once a month to share information about the going-ons at the school and to address any problems or complaints. He never started the meeting until every staff member was present. If they didn’t show within five minutes of the designated meeting time…he would go and retrieve them himself. Currently, he was waiting for Severus.
Suddenly the door flew open, and Severus strode in, his head completely hooded, looking like Death paying a visit. He sat down in a chair in the back of the room, holding the hood tight around his throat with one pale hand.
Albus stared at him for a moment.
“Severus, please remove your hood,” he said to the Potions Master.
“I would rather not, Headmaster,” the Potions Master replied.
Albus scowled.
“Severus, I want to see your face so I know you are paying attention,” he said in an even voice. “I do not allow other staff members to cover their faces at these meetings. It would be distinctly unfair if I allowed you that privilege. Now remove your hood at once,” the white-bearded wizard said, his blue eyes rather hard.
Slowly Severus lowered his hood to the collective gasp of almost all the witches present.
“It’s Fabio!” they all cried, half rising from their seats. Apparently the muggle’s good looks and celebrity had made it to the wizarding world.
“I am not Fabio!” Severus snarled, unconsciously tossing his blonde mane. “This was an…an accident!”
All the witches batted their eyelashes at him, Sybil Trelawney surreptiously moving from chair to chair to get closer to him…but Severus saw her and pulled out his wand.
“Get back!” he hissed at her. “Come any closer and I’ll turn you into a dragonfly!”
The male staff was staring at him with mixed emotions, except for Albus who looked absolutely delighted.
“At least this face is better than your old one, Snape,” Marcus Delaluci said, “Maybe you’ll be able to wrestle down a witch now.”
All the witches tittered at this comment as Marcus gave Severus a nasty smirk.
“Shut up, Marcus before I cast a spell on you that permanently locks that telescoping cock of yours on ‘tiny,’” the Potions Master threatened, a dimple showing as he attempted to scowl blackly. It only made him more handsome.
The witches all gasped at his comment. Telescoping cock? Every female eye slid toward Marcus, who blanched. Most of these witches were so old their vaginas were probably dustbowls. He slumped down in his chair trying to become as unnoticeable as possible.
“Now, now! Enough of that language. We are here for a meeting. Now everyone pay attention,” Albus said, tapping his wand against the podium, restoring order.
Severus sat scowling as the Headmaster droned on and on, his arms crossed tightly over his chest and furrowing his eyebrows at the witches who kept turning around to look at him. It made him look as if he were flirting with them.
After the meeting, Severus had to practically run back to the dungeons to escape the gaggle of female staff attempting to surround him. They knew he wasn’t Fabio, but oh…he was so good-looking. They just had to touch him. The Potions Master quickly put distance between himself and them, entering and securely warding his office, then retiring to his private rooms to try and remove the blasted spell.
But Hermione was a full-fledged Spells Mistress and put a signature so powerful on the spell, he couldn’t break it. Angry, the Potions Master floo’d up to the owlery and sent an owl immediately to her home. He didn’t use Raucous this time. The raven would only make things infinitely worse.
The missive was full of threatening phrases such as “early death,” “tarred and feathered,” “stretched on a rack of nails” and other delightful expressions. Hermione laughed until she choked. She wrote him back saying she would only lift the spell if there would be no repercussions and a cessation in hexing between them. She owed him for the “Blue Lady” hex after all.
Severus wrote her back grudgingly agreeing to her conditions. She then sent an owl saying she would lift the spell tomorrow afternoon after work. The Potions Master was livid, but there was nothing he could do. He was forced to hold classes with Fabio’s head, to the delight of his pupils, particularly the seventh year witches, who sighed over him constantly, even when he took points and gave detention. It had to have been the worst day of teaching in his life.
At about five o’clock, the wizard felt the sensation of his face realigning itself. He hurried to the loo and watched as his familiar pale features returned. The little bitch. She could remove the signature from a distance. She had purposely put him through hell. Hermione was a vindictive little minx.
Well, she’d be in his home in two weeks. He promised not to hex her, but the Potions Master was not a man to let anyone get away with what he considered a crime against his person, and Hermione had certainly crossed the line.
The witch would pay, and pay dearly.
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A/N: lolololol. Oh man…too freaking funny. Hermione might have just set something in motion she doesn’t want. ::::shaking head:::: But that was a good one. Please review.