Becoming Familiar with a Man of Misery

Chapter 15 ~ Telling the Truth Can Be Extremely Painful

Hermione sat in her rooms, thinking about the kiss she had shared with Severus before she left, how he had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. There was no doubt about it, he had returned her kiss this time, and it had made her feel wonderful, and hungry and trembly and almost insane for more. But soon, there would be no desire for more. The way he made her feel would be wiped from her emotions like spilled pumpkin juice was wiped from a tabletop.

Would she be like a zombie when it came to him? Stare at him blankly when he spoke to her? All of his snarky comments would just slide off her back. He probably wouldn’t even bother making them any more, since she wouldn’t react to them. A whole part of her life was about to die, something she had wanted for years was being murdered, destroyed. Part of her hoped Severus would mourn her loss of feelings for him terribly. Another part just hoped he’d find some peace in his life.

It was cruel of him to finally respond to her when everything she felt for him was in the process of dying. He was so perverse, even when witnessing the last throes of her love, he ripped at her heart, tantalizing her with an intimacy that she would never fully know.

No one would ever understand why she loved the wizard, she didn’t fully understand it herself. She saw him in a way that no one else did, even Severus himself. Was it romanticized? No, it wasn’t. He was really a dark, snarky, cruel, cold-hearted bastard through and through, but his mouth had been so warm, his arms gave her comfort and her body craved his possession. Love never made sense. If she were asked why she loved the Potions Master, her answer wouldn’t be because he’s kind, he’s sweet, he’s good to me.

Her answer would have been, “Because he needs to be loved.”

At the bottom of all of everything, was her belief that she could have given him the love that he needed to feel whole. She knew it would have been a long, hard journey, but everything living responds to tenderness and care over time. Severus was like a withered plant in dry, empty soil. And happiness, that sun that brought life to everything else, was simply wasted on him because he was too withered by bitterness, and didn’t have the ability to process it. Hermione could have fed him with her care, watered him with her passion, given him what he needed until he flourished, and could process what it meant to be happy. She could have done this, but she hadn’t been strong enough to break through his misery. She hadn’t been strong enough to fight her way inside his walls. She folded.

Two large tears rolled down the witch’s cheeks. Yes, she would go on, probably find a nice wizard to settle down with, have a family and a career, but she knew she would never in her life meet another man like Severus Snape. She wouldn’t have been adverse to settling down with him and bearing his children, beautiful, snarky, pale-skinned sons with dark eyes and a love of mixing things, lovely, intelligent bushy-haired daughters with a liking for books and rule-breaking, unlikely as it was. Severus would probably die by the Dark Lord’s hand before this was all over anyway. But it was a wonderful dream she would have liked to have pursued.

Yes, she was in pity mode. The potential of an entire life was dying here, and she murdered it… aborted it with one glass of black liquid ministered to her by the wizard she loved at her request. The witch had abandoned her hopes and dreams, given up, given in to failure.

And she called herself a Gryffindor.

Hermione drew her legs up into the chair, leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Soon, it would all be over.

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When Hermione woke, she looked at the clock. She had slept through the six-hour mark. She was two hours late. She sat up, and immediately realized that she didn’t feel any different about the Professor than she did when she fell asleep. Something was definitely wrong here. All her feelings for him should be gone. She didn’t know whether to be happy or angry. Should she ask for another batch of potion, or leave it as it was? Maybe the fates or destiny had intervened. Maybe she was meant to continue to love the dark wizard.

She rose, stretched, then headed for the Potions office.

In his study, Severus was wondering where Hermione was. It was not like her to be late. Especially in a situation this important. Several times he rose to go to her rooms and check on her, but then he sank back down, deciding to wait.

He jumped up when he heard the knock on his office door. He smoothed down his robes. Raucous squawked encouragement at the Potions Master as he walked through the study door to the let Hermione in. He pulled the door open and looked down into her shining eyes.

“The potion isn’t working Severus. I can still feel you,” she said softly.

He opened the door wider, letting her in.

“Go to my lab, Miss Granger,” he said, gesturing towards the lab door.

Hermione nodded and walked through the door, followed closely by Severus.

He had no idea what he was going to say to her. Then he had an idea.

“Miss Granger, I need to check the intensity of your feelings toward me. I need you to open up your mind fully and give me access. I know you can use occulmency. I ask that you do not employ it this time. Show me everything,” he said.

Normally, Hermione would have balked at this. She would be exposing her very soul to the Potions Master, who would no doubt use it as ammunition to hurt and humiliate her further. But since tonight was the night all those feelings and thoughts would die, she felt it would be fitting for him to know the depth of her feelings for him before they disappeared completely.

Hermione acquiesced.

The Potions Master put two fingers to her temple to deepen the connection, and whispered, “Legilimens.”

The Professor was pulled into the world of Hermione’s love and desire for him. There were erotic fantasies everywhere, with the witch performing acts on the wizard that made him bite his lip in reaction. How did she live with this running through her mind? He continued through, seeing himself as she saw him. He was relieved to see it was true to life. He was as cruel and callous in her mind as he was in real life. So she had no illusions about him.

He saw her putting the fish in his rooms, and casting all types of sneaky spells in his classroom before he arrived. There were the arguments they had over the weeks. There was also the memory of what happened to Marcus. The Potions Master almost let out a low whistle. She certainly had given the wizard what for, turning him into a pig then rendering him impotent. Yes, Hermione had a nasty, nasty streak.

Severus decided he had better prepare for a physical altercation with the wizard. No doubt he’d be out for blood and would go for him rather than the witch, who was well within her rights to be furious.

Severus continued to sift through Hermione’s mind. There were quite a few rather unskilled masturbation incidents with him as the focus. It appeared that Hermione had practiced this Severus-focused self-love a few times during her time at university as well as when a student at Hogwarts. Most incidents occurred in the witch’s bed, with a couple of very wet episodes in the shower. There was even one incident in his Potions class when she was in her seventh year and he was giving a lecture. He raised an eyebrow.

Well, well, Miss Granger. You naughty, nasty little Gryffindor.

Severus watched these masturbations with interest to see if the witch came. Something happened, but it wasn’t his idea of what an orgasm should be. Well, she was a virgin after all. He moved on.

Next he saw Hermione surrounded by children. The boys looked like him and the girls like her. This image was almost transparent. It was a hope that was near hopeless…just a glimmer. The image wasn’t a reality the witch believed in. It was more like an impossible wish. Still, he found it interesting. Then he saw a withered plant with his head on it, bent, the eyes closed. The sun was drying him out. Then Hermione flowed over him and he strengthened, turning green and strong. It was a symbolic image of what she believed…that she could bring him new life.

The Potions Master then saw the first kiss they shared, except in her thoughts, when she kissed him, she was immediately bathed in a golden light that began where their lips connected and flowed over her body. Then the same thing happened during the second, more passionate kiss except this time she was covered with fire instead of light.

Next he saw a disturbing image of Hermione in a graveyard, looking down into an open casket. He moved closer and saw that he was inside it, his eyes closed in death. Severus watched as Hermione closed the casket, and with a great effort pushed it into the open grave. She was crying heavily as she lifted handfuls of earth and threw them on top of the coffin. It would take her forever to bury him. That was the image of the pending death of her feeling for him. A death that wasn’t coming.

Then he saw the Gryffindor standard and the Slytherin crest floating together in a black sky. The crest slowly faded away. The scarlet and gold flag rippled furiously as if it were caught in a powerful wind or storm. It suddenly burst into flames, black, thick smoke roiling from it until it burned away to ash, and fell from the sky. That was a symbol of himself and the witch. He fading out of her life, and she being completely destroyed.

The Professor broke the link.

“Did you see what you needed to see?” Hermione asked him.

He stared at her a long moment. He had seen more than enough.

“Yes,” he said, looking at her intensely, “I’ve seen all I need to see.”

Hermione felt a gush of warmth at the look the Potions Master was giving her. She couldn’t ever remember him looking at her in such a way. Usually he was scowling, or sneering or contorting his face unpleasantly. But now, he was just looking at her in a very focused way, his dark eyes seeming to penetrate her to her core…which was heating up uncomfortably.

The Potions Master gestured to the stool next to the counter.

“Sit down, Miss Granger,” he said commandingly.

Hermione obediently walked over to the stool and sat down.

Severus looked her over.

“Do you have your wand with you?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied, furrowing her brow at him, “Why?”

He held out his pale hand.

“Give it to me,” he said.

Hermione hesitated.

“Give me your wand, Miss Granger. I will return it to you,” he said tiredly.

Hermione drew her wand out of her waistband and deposited it in his pale hand. The Potions Master stuck it deep in his robes pocket. Well, she wouldn’t be hexing him…not right now at least. Severus looked at Hermione with a measured glance.

“I have something to tell you, Miss Granger. I don’t want any scenes,” he said silkily, “I expect you to react like a mature young woman. Do you understand me?”

Hermione nodded.

“The potion was faulty,” he said.

Hermione frowned at him. Something was wrong with the potion? No wonder she was still drawn to him.

“Faulty? How?” she asked.

“It seems an important ingredient was missing from the brew. One that was necessary to make it viable,” the Potions Master replied.

Severus moved closer to her, causing the witch to catch her breath as he looked down at her with that same intense gaze.

“What ingredient?” she asked him.

“My blood. My blood was not in the Lotus Root potion,” he said, stepping closer to her still.

“How could you forget to add the most important ingredient, Professor? That was the catalyst to make the brew work,” the witch said.

“I didn’t forget,” the Potions Master said, “I didn’t want to add it.”

Hermione stared up at him. He was so close now.

“You purposely gave me a potion that wouldn’t work?” she asked him, thinking about how she had agonized in her rooms over losing her feelings for him, when it wasn’t going to happen.

“Yes,” he said, moving directly in front of her, his voice dropping to a silky tone, “And you know what that means, don’t you?”

Hermione looked up into his dark eyes, and drew a long breath. Then drove her knee into his groin as hard as she could.

The Professor grunted, clutched himself and fell to the floor, curling into a fetal position groaning, his hands between his legs. He was gasping with pain. She got him right in the balls.

“Yes, I know what that means,” Hermione said, jumping off the stool and rummaging through his robes for her wand. “It means you are a total asshole! How could you put me through that? If you didn’t want me to take the potion, you should have said something,” she spat at him.

She was tempted to hex him, but he was already down and in pain.

Raucous heard the commotion and hopped down to the stone floor of the study and started walking toward the lab. The bright, yellow raven linked to the Professor’s vision, and all he could see was a horizontal view of the Potions lab floor and some white trainers that were moving back and forth. He walked a little quicker.

Hermione looked at the groaning wizard. Severus was rolling back and forth in pain. He was going to kill her when he recovered. The hell with fucking her.

“You’re lucky I don’t turn you into a snake and feed you to the nifflers,” Hermione seethed at him. Then her voice softened a bit.

“You really should have just told me you didn’t want me to stop loving you.”

Hermione turned and exited the potions lab, heading back toward her rooms. Her head was spinning a bit as the enormity of this new development hit her.

Severus wanted her to want him. She had gotten through. After all this time, she had gotten through to him. A thrill of happiness shot through Hermione as she entered her room, and securely warded her doors. She sat down in the armchair, a broad smile plastered on her face, her wand positioned defensively in her lap, waiting for the dark wizard to come after her in retaliation.

He wanted to be wanted.

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Raucous walked into the lab and saw his master on the floor. He fluttered over to Severus and looked down into the wizard’s pain contorted face. The raven sent him an image of devil-Hermione and a question mark.

“Yessss,” Severus hissed through clenched teeth as his balls throbbed, “She did this.”

Raucous made a sound like choked laughter, then sent an image of Severus fucking Hermione, then the witch’s mouth growing extremely large and biting the Potions Master’s head off. His pale body was still copulating, headlessly.

“Not now, Raucous,” the Potions Master said, rolling to his back and breathing heavily as the pain in his aching balls began to subside a little.

Considering what he had done to her, the witch had taken it rather well. She could have hexed him too. At least she knew now that he kind of accepted her. They would have to talk first. Lay down the law.

Severus sat up and rubbed at his pulsing balls tenderly through his robes.

Yes, first they’d talk…then he was going to fuck the shit out of her. She’d pay for this.

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A/N: Not exactly the tender scene it could have been. Lol. But Hermione knows Severus wants her now. There are lemons in the near future. Please review.

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The Burning Pen

Becoming Familiar with a Man of Misery
by Ruth Solomon

The story content is adult in nature and can contain graphic sex and violence. Those under the age of 18 are asked to leave this site immediately. You are not welcome here. The author is not responsible for those under-aged who view these works.

CHAPTER 16

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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