Becoming Familiar with a Man of Misery

Chapter 2 ~ The Magical Menagerie

Hermione dressed warmly. The autumn weather was quite cool this year. She put on her cloak, and headed out of her rooms anxious to get to Diagon Alley. She had just passed the Potions Master’s rooms when his door opened, and he emerged.

His black eyes fell on the witch, and Hermione could feel his malice burning a hole into her back. She quickened her pace, hoping that he wouldn’t catch up to her. She couldn’t hear him. The Professor glided like a ghost through the halls of Hogwarts, his steps always silent. Hermione couldn’t hear him, but could feel him behind her and wondered what thoughts were going through his head after last night’s debacle. She just wanted to avoid the dark wizard for now.

Severus had been highly displeased to see the witch. It was as if she purposely inserted herself in his path. He knew she hadn’t and it was just a matter of coincidence that they had left their rooms at almost the same time but she was the last person he wanted to see first thing in the morning. All of the anger of the previous night came back to him as he watched the small witch walk quickly in front of him, dressed in a traveling cloak. Obviously she was shirking her assistant duties this morning and going someplace. He could have passed her, but he wanted to make her nervous. He despised the little twit, but it gave him pleasure to know he made her uncomfortable.

Severus imagined he threw her for a loop by turning down her offer of companionship and sex. Hermione seemed to have everything handed to her on a platter. What the Gryffindor Princess wanted, the Gryffindor Princess got. This was unfair of the Potions Master. Every thing Hermione acquired, she worked hard for it. She earned the preferential treatment she received from the Headmaster and the other staff members. She had shown herself to be hardworking and dedicated to completing any task she was given, and she was driven to succeed.

That drive was what was taking her to Diagon Alley. She wanted to be with the dark wizard. She knew she would be good for the Potions Master, and he for her. She wasn’t drawn to the young wizards who constantly hit on her. Most didn’t have a full brain cell between them. She was a rather serious young woman, who spent a lot of time thinking about the wizarding world’s plight and the threat of Voldemort. The fact that he wanted to take it over and destroy muggle-borns was an issue that was always at the forefront of her mind. Professor Snape was right, she did consider him a hero, and felt that he was risking his life for her personal survival as well as for others. And unlike most, she was extremely grateful to him, and wouldn’t mind giving herself to such a courageous, brilliant man. She believed she loved him for what he was so selflessly doing, and if one believed hard enough, it seemed a reality.

Hermione didn’t know the difference between love and infatuation, nor did she care to. The way she felt when in his presence was enough to drive her into his arms. She was the epitome of the trembling little virgin discovering her own sexuality. His dark eyes, smooth voice, sensuous mouth, beautiful hands, and dominating presence made her go hot all over. When she first returned to Hogwarts and walked into the Great Hall, Severus had been eating lunch. The witch felt a jolt of electricity skitter through her body when his piercing black eyes lifted and rested on her. Hermione thought she had gotten over her seventh year attraction, but she felt his heat immediately.

Most of the women her age she knew had already lost their virtue to some randy young wizard. But Hermione didn’t want that. She wanted the loss of her virginity to be to someone of consequence. Someone of experience. Someone who excited her to the point of distraction. Someone like the Professor. She wanted her deflowerer to be the Professor. A wizard who wanted nothing, absolutely nothing to do with her. Hermione never, ever seemed to take the easy path in anything she did. Well, this would be a true test of her ability to overcome the odds, which at this point in time were leaning heavily in favor of the Professor.

Hermione turned left at the dungeon entrance and headed toward the main doors that led to the grounds of Hogwarts. Like Lot’s wife, she couldn’t resist looking back. The Potions Master emerged and gave her a black look that would have transformed her into a pillar of salt if it were possible. The witch turned away quickly and exited the castle, her cheeks flaming.

The Professor continued on to the Great Hall, wishing to make an entrance through the main doors rather than use the staff entrance. He was in the perfect mood to ruin the students’ morning.

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Hermione apparated to Diagon Alley. It was very early and many shops had not opened yet. She walked along the sidewalk, peering in the various windows, watching as the shopkeepers prepared for their day. As she approached the Magical Menagerie, she heard a deep male voice yelling and ran toward the noise. The shop door was open and she darted in to find a red-faced, balding wizard with a handlebar mustache, shaking his fist in the air, looking upward.

“You…you demon spawn!” he cried, “No wonder they brought you back!

Hermione heard a loud raucous caw, and a dark form swooped down at the wizard, who ducked then rose again spouting obscenities as it passed. Startled, Hermione looked up to see a raven clinging to the rafters, making a noise that sounded like evil laughter. The bird leaned toward the shopkeeper, then leaped off the beam and swooped toward him again, this time planting a large, dripping bird dropping smack in the middle of the wizard’s head. It dripped down his forehead, over his wide nose and lips. The wizard turned an even darker shade of red.

“Gods damn it. That’s it, Raucous! Say goodbye you bloody raven from hell!”

The wizard drew his wand and fired a blast at the bird, who hopped out of the way, screeching in terror as the wood splintered. The wizard cursed and fired another shot, winging the bird who fell. Hermione ran forward and caught it before it hit the floor.

The irate wizard pointed his wand at her, his eyes wild.

“What are you doing?” Hermione yelled at him, holding the bird protectively.

The crazed wizard seemed to come back to himself, and half-lowered his wand. He looked at the witch and the raven in her arms. Its beady black eyes looked at him maliciously, and it clipped its sharp beak at him.

“I am doing the wizarding world a favor, sending that black bastard back to the devil that hatched him,” the wizard breathed, “he is the evilest, vilest avian to ever fly the earth. He has been returned to this shop seven times. Seven! Because he can’t behave himself. What kind of familiar is returned seven times, I ask you?”

He pulled a handkerchief out of his robes pocket and wiped the bird shit from his face.

“That’s it. I’m not wasting another crust of bread on him. Maybe I can make my money back selling his feathers for quills,” the wizard breathed. “Now put him down so I can blast him to bloody bits.”

Hermione scowled at the wizard, tightening her arms around the raven protectively.

“I will do no such thing!” she said, “I won’t let you kill him.”

The raven looked up at Hermione with rather narrowed, calculating eyes for a bird, then back at the wizard, its beak opened tauntingly.

“He won’t be grateful, believe me. He’s been biting the hands that fed him ever since he was a fledgling. I think his egg went bad but he hatched anyway,” the wizard said, lowering his wand completely. He walked behind the counter and took out a cage.

“If you don’t want him dead, take him with you. If he shows up here again, he’s worm food,” the wizard said, opening the cage door. Hermione walked over and put the raven inside.

“Fine, how much?” she asked the wizard, taking out her purse.

“Two knuts,” he said.

The raven squawked in indignation. How dare he sell him for so little?

Hermione looked at the shopkeeper incredulously.

“Only two knuts?” she asked him, her eyebrows raised.

“That’s all he’s worth,” the wizard said, walking around the counter and taking the two coins from Hermione’s hand.

The shopkeeper didn’t realize his ass was right in front of the raven’s cage. He let out a howl and leaped away as the raven drove his beak home, stabbing him in the buttocks.

The wizard scowled at the bird murderously, rubbing his stuck ass ruefully. He looked at Hermione, who had covered her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. The bird sure was snarky.

Hermione peered into the cage.

“What’s his name?” she asked the angry wizard.

“Raucous. It means rough sounding, harsh, boisterous and disorderly. And those are his good points,” the wizard said, “I’m telling you, that bird’s no good. He’d make a better stew than familiar.”

Raucous fluffed up his feathers angrily and made a disparaging sound at the wizard. Hermione was almost sure it was a birdie obscenity. She leaned a little closer and Raucous snapped his beak at her savagely. She jerked back. The wizard nodded.

“I told you. That bird doesn’t appreciate anything. He’s possessed, I tell you. You just ought to let me finish him off,” the wizard said.

Hermione looked at the bird. He was a familiar. He would understand her.

“Listen Raucous. If I leave you here, you’re going to be killed. Die. Be no more. Do you understand that?” she asked the bird.

Raucous looked at the wizard with one bright eye, then back at Hermione and nodded slightly.

“Be good and come with me, and I promise you, I’ll find you a master that is just as mean and rotten as you are. You’ll get along with him famously. He’ll probably let you do all the mischief you want. All I ask is that you cooperate, don’t peck me and don’t raise a ruckus until I can get you to him. Does that sound good to you?” Hermione asked the raven.

Raucous looked thoughtful. He was tired of all the goodie-two-shoes wizards and witches the shopkeeper tried to saddle him with. Someone nasty would suit him just fine.

The bird squawked his compliance.

“Good,” Hermione said. Then she looked at the shopkeeper.

“Can I have something to cover the cage with? I want to keep him calm as I apparate with him.

The shopkeeper gave her a cloth, and Hermione covered Raucous’ cage.

“Nobody’s going to keep that damn bird,” the shopkeeper predicted. “He’s just no good to anybody.”

Hermione disillusioned the cage with her wand and picked it up.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. He seems tailor-made for a certain wizard I know,” she replied, smirking a bit.

“I hope so. If he brings him back here, then it’s torches out for the blinking twerp,” the wizard said darkly.

Raucous cawed a scathing insult from beneath the covering. Too bad the shopkeeper didn’t understand Raven.

Hermione thanked the doubtful shopkeeper and exited the shop. The wizard looked out the door behind her, shaking his head.

“That witch just don’t know what she’s in for with that bloody bird. If birds had a devil, it would be him, that’s for blinking sure,” he muttered. He picked up a broom and starting sweeping.

Down the block, Hermione and Raucous apparated back to Hogwarts.

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A/N: Yay! It’s Raucous. I think Hermione has the right idea here. If the Professor can care for that black-winged little demon, he might be able to care for someone else. Heck, it’s worth a try. Please review.

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The Burning Pen

Becoming Familiar with a Man of Misery
by Ruth Solomon

The story content is adult in nature and can contain graphic sex and violence. Those under the age of 18 are asked to leave this site immediately. You are not welcome here. The author is not responsible for those under-aged who view these works.

CHAPTER 3

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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