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Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 4 ~ Kingsley Gives Severus the “Talk”
Kingsley Shacklebolt was not only an Auror and a trainer. He was also a strategist. It was Kingsley who planned most of the attacks on deatheater strongholds. It was he who plotted the safest way to move into dangerous situations with the least amount of damage. Well, talking to Severus about a possible attraction to Hermione Granger was pretty dangerous. Kingsley had found out long ago that sometimes the best way to move on a target was in a roundabout way. He decided not to use the direct approach with the Potions Master. There was another way.
That evening, when Severus returned, Kingsley approached him. The Potions Master often spent time with Kingsley, chatting over a couple of firewhiskeys. When the Ministry was investigating Severus, it was Kingsley who made sure no one abused the wizard during the interrogations. The Auror made it clear just how serious he was that Severus not be touched, when he collared a fellow Auror who slapped the Potions Master, and proceeded to give him the same treatment several times over. Severus Snape was treated with respect after that. The Potions Master never forgot how the Auror stood by him in his time of need.
So when Kingsley invited him to have a couple of drinks with him, Severus agreed. The Auror brought a fresh bottle of Ogden’s Firewhiskey VSOP, two glasses and a bowl of never-melting ice and the two wizards took a seat in front of the fireplace and talked about a number of topics, imbibing freely. Kingsley was waiting for an opening to broach the topic of Hermione, when the witch walked by the living room, headed for the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes at Severus as she passed, and the Potions Master scowled after her.
“A very pretty young woman, that Hermione Granger,” Kingsley commented.
Severus didn’t respond. He just glowered into his firewhiskey.
“Why do you think she’s not involved with anybody?” Kingsley asked the Potions Master.
Severus looked at him.
“Because the woman is pure poison, that’s why,” the Potions Master replied, “She’s a terror.”
“I’ve noticed you and she don’t get along all that well,” Kingsley commented, taking a sip of his drink.
:”I despise the young chit. She is arrogant, rude, sarcastic and thinks too much of herself,” Severus said sourly.
Kingsley smiled.
“I daresay she’d say the same about you, Severus. Seems like you both have something in common,” the Auror said, warming to his role.
“We have nothing in common,” Severus snapped.
The Auror went silent for a bit, letting Severus brood a little. Hermione’s appearance had made him go instantly sour, even though the witch had just walked by. Kingsley knew this was a sign that the young woman truly affected Severus.
“Why do you let her get to you, Severus?” Kingsley asked him.
Severus looked at him. The Potions Master definitely had a little buzz on.
“Who?” he asked the Auror
“Hermione. She gets to you,” Kingsley observed. “She only has to walk into a room and you instantly go on point.”
“That’s not true,” Severus said, pouring himself another drink.
“I’ve seen it for myself, old boy,” Kingsley said. “She doesn’t have to be doing anything, and you will say something to get her started.”
“I like to get her upset. It amuses me,” the Potions Master said, “Her eyes start flashing, she turns red as a salamander, her breathing starts getting heavy, she loses all control…”
“Sounds like you’re describing her having an orgasm,” Kingsley said, smiling.
Severus looked at Kingsley, startled.
“It does not,” he said, scowling.
“How long has it been since you’ve seen a lovely woman orgasm, Severus?” Kingsley asked him.
“It’s been a long time,” the Potions Master said quietly.
“Trust me, I know. It looks just like what you described you like to put Hermione through day after day.” the Auror said. “A little substitution, perhaps?”
Severus sat straight up in his chair, scowling at the Auror.
“What are you insinuating, Kingsley? That I like to make that..that…hellcat upset because it stimulates me? Because it simulates her orgasming?” Severus asked the Auror, his face black.
“Come on, Severus. You’re attracted to the witch. You’ve been attracted to her since she joined the Order, if not before then,” Kingsley said, diving in. “You fight with her because you don’t know how to approach her.”
“I assure you I know how to approach a woman, Kingsley. I wasn’t always alone,” Severus said, frowning at the Auror. “I don’t approach Hermione because I am not interested in her that way. I just haven’t approached any women because I have found none that interest me. Most are air-headed and shallow.”
“Of which Hermione is neither. She is a brilliant young witch, Severus. She was your student. You know this. She’s also a scrapper, not anyone’s doormat. She stands up to you every time you take a go at her. And you like that. That’s why you constantly aggravate her. I’m telling you, you have a thing for the woman. You need to recognize it and act on it,” Kingsley said, bringing it home. “Not to mention she is beautiful, has a body that most men would kill for, and probably has a thing for you too, by the way you set her off all the time. Both of you need to face what’s really going on here. This may sound crass, but instead of fighting her, Severus, you should be fucking her. Put all that energy you’re expending to better, more pleasurable use.”
Severus stood up, a little unsteadily after six firewhiskeys.
“I believe this evening is now officially over, Kingsley,” he said, looking down at the Auror. “I assure you that I have no interest in Hermione Granger beyond the amusement she brings me. And certainly no interest in fucking her.”
“That’s what your mouth says,” Kingsley said, his brown eyes flickering towards Severus’ tented robes. The Potions Master had a noticeable erection. “Amusement generally doesn’t do that.” Kingsley chuckled.
Severus scowled at him and strode away. Kingsley finished his drink.
Mission accomplished.
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A/N: Well, well. Kingsley handled that with some finesse. I had a boss once (worked at a carwash) who used to break out a huge bottle of Peppermint Schnapps whenever he had bad news to give to his employees. It was quite effective. Anyway, please review.
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